What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
