i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
