Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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