If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
