if i can run in heels then i can drive
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
