Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Found your dick twin last night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
