How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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