that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
