But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you win again, gameday.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
