out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
