The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize