"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Houston, we have a squirter
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
