How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
