The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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