how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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