Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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