I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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