wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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