Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
