I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
