My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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