You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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