If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
