I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
