I am in a vortex of obligation.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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