Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
