what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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