you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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