i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
