and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
