hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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