Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
