I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
