we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
birth control should be required to get into college
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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