There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
