Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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