One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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