How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
