You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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