Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
