At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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