I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
