She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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