Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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