My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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