Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Drake has all the answers
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
