U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
