I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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