I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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