Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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