At least make sure they are 18
Why
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize