So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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