The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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