:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
