So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
