Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
