His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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