she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
